1 yr Check up W/ Dr. Denton

Friday April 27, 2007

Ella had her 1yr check up with our pediatrician. I was a little stressed about this appointment but things went pretty good. She weighs 15lbs 14oz and is 27.5in. She had to get 2 shots and a TB skin test but she done well with those too. So overall her check up went well.

When I first got to the exam room Dr. Denton informed me that he had just talked to the ENT about Ella...this was the part I wasn't looking forward to. We talked about the fluid on her ears and how getting tubes was probably going to be the best thing. We also talked about her feeding tube(NG Tube) he was very understanding and willing to listen to my point of view, that's what makes him a great DR. He said I could take Ella's feeding tube out for 2weeks and try to let her eat on her own. After 2weeks I could bring her back and have her weighed again to see if she can maintain her weight. He wants me to go see a surgeon and talk to him about getting a feeding tube (G Tube) placed in her belly. He thinks even though Ella is doing really good this will probably have to be done regardless , so maybe this will help me make my decision.

On my way home I was having a "breakdown" and I really didn't even know why. I called Clint in the middle of my crying fit and he was so good. He really made it ok for me...he said,"well look at it this way...at least we will finally get to show off her pretty face!" How sweet is that, what a good point. :) I should have been happy because I was finally getting someone to listen , I could finally try to feed her without the tube...but No I was crying like someone had died!!! I think for the first time I realized that my decision had already been made I was just not ready to accept it. I was having a "panic attack" about taking her tube out for 2weeks! I can't just not feed her when she doesn't want to eat!!!! How am I going to get her medicine down her???? What if she looses weight??? All these things were running through my head and deep down I knew this was not an option! So the tube stayed in.

After a few "breakdowns" on Friday and some denial on Saturday...Sunday was the day! I made the decision to go through with it. On Monday morning I called Dr. Denton to let him know I didn't take her tube out and I wasn't going to...I couldn't! He figured as much...he has known me for 10yrs. and he knows how I stress over her feeding! I want to make the appointment with the Surgeon ASAP and get this over with!

We will be going to the surgeon on Monday May 7 and hopefully we will have the surgery sometime soon there after. I have been a little crazy over all this and that's not like me , it was starting to scare me! I think I just got comfortable with things, they have been going so good(not that this is bad) and I let my guard down. I won't be letting that happen again, or at least not anytime soon! Also I guess I felt like I was "giving in" to her syndrome. I don't know??? For now I feel good about my decision and I know I can do this! Thank you everyone for your prayers...I know they made a difference and keep praying...I know I will need it.

Melissa